“A 28-year-old woman has died of water intoxication after taking part in a Californian radio station’s water drinking contest.
She was in the ‘Hold Your Wee for a Wii’ competition trying to win a Nintendo Wii video game system.

Assistant Sacramento County Coroner Ed Smith said a preliminary investigation found evidence “consistent with a water intoxication death’.”

I’m sorry, okay?

This probably isn’t the most compassionate thing to say at a moment like this, but seeing as I have apologized in advance, I’ll go ahead and say it.

This is a prime example of God culling the herd.

Apparently, the idea was to drink 8oz bottles of water every 15 minutes, and the last person to succumb to bladder distress wins a Nintendo Wii.

Ladies and gentlemen, The United States of America has now completely lost what is left of its decaying, television-addled mind.
The woman in question said she was “doing it for her kids” (Three of them, as it were.)

I see.

I don’t have kids. Maybe I will some day, but I am somehow doubting it. Nonetheless, if I do, I will of course, love my children. However, I will not risk killing myself so they can have a $250 toy. The math doesn’t add up in my head. When this debacle was all said and done, not only do these kids not have a Nintendo Wii, they no longer have a mother. This is what some people would call a “really bad day.”

On a personal note, I’ve been involved in radio in all of its current incarnations, be it AM, FM or Internet since I was about 19. All three of these venues are vastly different in style, but they all have one constant:

Radio fans are insane.

On AM, you have the “talk junkies” who listen to every talk show on the planet, and then spend a majority of they day on hold, trying to get through to the hosts, because *they* think they can really put the host in his place, or just simply astound the show’s audience with their armchair philosophy or diplomacy. Usually what happens is, the caller gets nervous, and the host just walks all over them. The caller gets hung up on, and before you know it, a whole day which could have been spent looking for a job, has been wasted.

On the Internet, you usually are surrounded by a bunch of angst ridden teenagers who hate their parents, hate their job at Wal-Mart, hate their country even though they don’t know why, and they even hate all the hosts, even though they continue to listen anyway, and will send hosts strange gifts, like packages of Ramen noodles, and drone on and on about how your voice gets them through the lonely night. I know this because I’ve been on the receiving end of it. It’s very disturbing, but somehow alluringly sweet.

Finally, we have FM. For as fun as FM is, it is most certainly the most destructive arena in radio, and I was really into it in my late teens and early 20’s. Album Rock stations are by far the most troublesome of all the FM formats, because they seem to cater to and attract the lowest common denominator of people, and those who listen to Album Rock stations will often tailor their life schedules around them, and they will participate in any little thing the station orders them to. This usually involves binge drinking parties, or bobbing in a vat of corrosive acid for Skynyrd Tribute Band tickets.

I lost a good friend because of an Album Rock station. He went to work for a local, and he ended up involved in drugs pretty heavily, and basically flushed his life down the toilet. I’m glad I outgrew that phase when I did, because I didn’t want to be 40, sporting a mullet, and thinking I *was* a rock star just because I got to hand out back stage passes and be tolerated by Steven Tyler or whomever else was asking the city if it was “ready to rock” that given month.

I guess I just struck a nerve with myself, but that happens from time to time. I feel I’m a better person now, and I don’t miss the Album Rock FM scene at all. I rather like being an adult.

It should be said that I don’t think that the station in question in this “Nintendo Wii incident” is necessarily to blame. The woman who wanted the toy is ultimately responsible. I don’t know how old this woman’s kids are, but in my humble opinion, I think “save your allowance” would have been a better option. The kids would have learned responsibility, and at the end of the day, they would still have a mother. I feel badly for the kids, but not necessarily for the woman. Motherhood is the most important job in the world, and she flushed it away, literally.

It’s sad, what men behind microphones can make us do, for a fleeting 15 minutes of ‘fame’ and cheap trinkets. It’s not really their fault, though. It’s ours.

We should respect ourselves more.

Stop doing things just because an electronic box tells you to. It’s not healthy, the buzz won’t last long, and in some cases, it can kill you.

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