ArtLindsey.com

You know, just when I think I’ve seen it all, something like that happens. I’ve seen a lot of insolent jerks in my life, but this takes the cake. I’ve never really had a problem with Brian Williams until now. I have to tell you, Ol’ W kept his cool a lot better than I would have. These questions were disrespectful and inane. Let’s go over some of this a bit, shall we?

“A lot of Americans email me and tell me that the feel the end of the world is near.”

Oh, yeah. I know that’s what I’m doing. When I feel Armageddon a-comin’ on, the first person I seek out is Tom Brokaw’s understudy. Yes, oh god of the TelePrompTer, please give me the spiritual guidance and the wisdom I need in these troubled times.

Right. I’m looking for someone with a collar or something, and I’m not even catholic.

“Do you have any doubts? Maybe we fought the wrong war?”

Even if the president did have doubts, which after *three years* he obviously doesn’t, why would he go on national TV and say “Oh yeah, man. I totally screwed this up. I’m a complete failure, and what’s that word you guys like to use? Quagmire? Yeah. Lots of quagmire going on.”

Here’s the thought that Brian Williams, the obvious foreign policy expert that he is, fails to consider:

Even though he won’t be able to completely achieve it within the 8-year confines of his presidency, George W. Bush is attempting to change the whole Middle East. Whether you believe it or not, that region is an imminent threat to our way of life, not to mention the human rights violations they continually inflict on their own people. Now, the President is well aware of the threat that Iran poses. But he couldn’t very well just go straight into Iran and have Iraq hanging out in the neighborhood, because they totally hate our guts. That would make things a lot more difficult than they need to be, so why not build an ally in Iraq by taking out a murderous dictator? Don’t give me any blah blah blah about Bush saying it would be easy either, because he never did. Doing things this way makes perfect strategic sense. These things take time. The impatience of the media is merely a symptom of our spoiled, distracted “we want it now” culture. Rome wasn’t built in a day, and neither was the Middle East. One way or another, Iran’s day will come. Syria’s too.

Brian Williams is incapable of thinking “outside the box”, and this is why he reads cue cards for a living.

“Don’t you think Americans should have been asked to sacrifice?”

Oh, so I suppose the soldiers we have lost are only a sacrifice when the media says it is. I suppose all the contractors and so forth that went over to Iraq to rebuild it in the face of danger have only sacrificed when the media says they have. I suppose the billions of taxpayer dollars we have spent over there in an effort to provide freedom are an unworthy sacrifice because freedom is only for middle and upper class white people? Perhaps by the use of the word “sacrifice” Brian Williams meant “Roll over and take it in the ass” like we did during the 8 years of the Clinton presidency?

“Is there palpable tension when you get together with your father?”

Again, like he’s going to stand there, and say “Yes, Brian. My family life is in shambles and my relationship with my father is a…quagmire.” We fight like cats and dogs, because *I* obviously care a lot more about America than my father ever did. I mean, he is such a quitter! He completely pulled out and left Saddam in power. You should see us at Thanksgiving. I gotta tell you, it’s nothing but a barrage of constant shouting and cranberry sauce flying everywhere. Eventually dad calls me a jackass, and I run off to my room crying. He never loved me, you know.”

The two Bushes may have differences in policy. Who knows? I don’t know, and you can bet Brian Williams doesn’t know. However, I am willing to bet that the conversations that the Bushes have are well amicable, for several reason:

1. They are father and son
2. They are both in their later years, and I would imagine that fighting with one’s father becomes moot at that point
3. They both have a mutual respect for the Office, which is something the media obviously lacks.

(In reference to French philosophy and Shakespeare/the President’s reading habits): “This is a big change for you.”

How in the hell would Brian Williams really *everything* that the President really reads? Does he have access to the President’s library card, or maybe his Amazon.com purchase history? So what if George Bush was reading Joe DiMaggio 3 weeks ago? From the sounds of things, W reads at least a couple books a week. Just because the man doesn’t speak all that well doesn’t mean he’s not a smart guy. I don’t care who says what, you can’t be an idiot and be elected President of the United States. It just doesn’t happen.

It’s obvious that Brian Williams thinks that President Bush is stupid, and Bush knows he thinks that. His quip about “keeping expectations low” was absolutely priceless. It was his way of saying “Yeah, I know what you think of me. Go back to reading your cue cards, you feces throwing monkey.”

I couldn’t have said it better myself.

“Still not watching TV, eh?”

Of course he isn’t! First off, I doubt he has time. Running the free world tends to take a big bite out of one’s day, I would assume. More than that, why would he watch the news? He’s the one out there making the damn news in the first place. He’s the President of the United States. I’d say that it stands to reason that he is well more informed than any of us are, including the ever so astute Mr. Williams. Even if it wasn’t for all of that, why would one man take interest in a medium which as nothing good to say about him? I know I wouldn’t. And let us not forget about that pesky reading habit the President has. Damn him. Imagine his audacity, the former owner of the Texas Rangers wanting to watch a *baseball game*! The nerve!

I don’t know how else to say it. Brian Williams is a clown.

See, all of this is symptomatic of a larger problem that I mentioned earlier. That problem is a lack of respect for the Office. You don’t stand a foot away from the face of the most powerful man on Earth and treat him like a child. You just don’t.

Since W became president, respect has become a partisan issue. It shouldn’t be. I’ll be the first to tell you that I don’t like Bill Clinton, and I despise Jimmy Carter, and I will most certainly say or write scathing things about them over the course of my life. But if by some strange twist of fate I meet either of them, I will sake their hands and “Hello, Mr. President. It is a pleasure to meet you.” That is exactly what you should do, and if I was allowed to talk to them for any stretch of time, I would be as respectful as possible, despite what I actually think of them.

But, some people lost that somewhere in their own indignation.

If I was president (imagine that) I probably would have socked Brian Williams right in the sack. And no, before all the whack jobs get up-in-arms, that wouldn’t be a violation of his freedom of speech rights. Freedom speech does not mean “freedom from consequence”. Sure, Brian Williams can say whatever he wants, but W is also free to pop him one. Personally, I wouldn’t mess with the most physically fit president in history who happens to be from Texas. It wouldn’t be politically expedient, but *I’d* pay to see it.

But as I said before, George W. Bush is a better man than I.

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