Fix The Hole
I’m about to do something I thought I would never do. I’m about to *agree* with Ray Nagin, the hapless mayor of New Orleans.
I don’t have the exact quote here, but in a recent interview, when he was asked about the slow recovery progress in New Orleans, he answered basically with, “This is going to take time. I mean, look at New York. It’s been five years and you guys still haven’t fixed a hole in the ground.”
This has a lot of conservatives up in arms, and I will admit it’s a dodgy comment, but you know what? For as dumb as this guy is, he’s actually got it right. Why can’t we fix the hole in the ground?
I understand all the sentiment that people have toward Ground Zero, believe me. I also understand how sacred that place is. It is to me to, in some ways. But when you get right down to brass tacks, we went through all the mourning and we cleaned up the mess, and that’s great, but after all this time…we still have a hole in the ground.
There’s no reason why we can’t put something there. We’ve had plenty of time and we need to stop fighting about it. I think we should be able to some sort of compromise. We’re the most powerful nation in the world, for God’s sake. We can free 50 million people in the Middle East, but we can’t resurrect a couple of towers in the middle of The Big Apple? Please.
Okay, so we had some towers knocked over because some crazy people think we’re “infidels”. You know what I say? Fine then! Let’s go with that. Let’s turn it into the biggest temple of hedonism and American excess that the Muslim world has ever seen:
I’m talking about a 115 story high 24/hour strip club that serves a menu of food consisting solely of pork products, and once a week we’ll have “Jew Night”! Free admission and drink specials for all children of Israel!
Okay, do maybe I will relent, and well have a special kosher menu on “Jew Night”, but the rest of the week there will be so much pork there, even old Big John would say, “Yeah. I got enough to eat. I’m not mad at all.” (It’s a local reference, don’t strain yourselves.)
I’m totally onto something. I mean, If we’re going to rebuild the thing (and we should), we may as well piss those freaks off while we’re at it. Personally I think it would be a good rebuttal for all the people who think we are “just making things worse” by being in the Middle East.
“We’re infidels? Yeah! And look what you did to us now, Mohammed al Ramadan Durkadurka! You think we were bad before? Well now we have a 1200 foot tall nudie bar! Can’t you see what you’ve done? You’re making us worse! You’re part of the problem!”
Yeah. I like that idea.
Hmm. Perhaps we should throw a massive SUV dealership in there too, because for me, the only that would even come close to the sheer joy of irritating a radical Muslim, would be pissing off a tree-hugging greenie. They’re almost as crazy, and they smell just as bad.
See? I’m all about efficiency.
…Wonder how long it will be before I’m branded as a “hatemonger”?
Oh well. That would hold about as much water as me being called a “neocon”.
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