Glory Be
This is just too much.
See that, right there on the ground? That’s the “line”. Not the line that the statue crosses, but the line I’m about to dance a jig on. [Cue Irish folk music]
I see this, and it leaves me to ponder a very simple, yet honest and dangerous question:
I wonder if I painted myself a nice, warm shade of brown… could I run for president?
…And a hush fills the room.
Seriously. Why not? I mean, if Michael Jackson can turn himself from a black man into a white woman, I should be able to get baked to a nice golden brown. I’m just saying.
As I sit here now and prepare for the cries of “racist” to be rained down upon me with Katrina-like fury, (Oh, there’s another touchy subject!) I want you all to be honest with yourselves. The only reason you or anybody else is interested in Barack Obama is because he’s black. There is nothing special about him, the only “potential” he really has is that of being a potential socialist, and he just doesn’t have the experience to be Commander-In-Chief. I don’t want this Neophyte coming anywhere near American foreign policy, and neither should you. A few years in the Illinois legislature, and two years in the US Senate does not a president make.
He’s no more qualified than me. I mean that. He’s done nothing of substance on the governmental scale, and what do you know, neither have I.
Sure, Joe Biden called him the first “Articulate, and clean” black candidate. While Joe is a blithering idiot in his own right, and he shouldn’t have said that, I can’t really argue with him. Apparently, that’s all it takes. Just give the American people a little style, and to hell with substance.
I live amongst dunderheads. I do.
At the risk of sounding pompous, I consider myself to be clean and articulate as well. So I have that going for me. In reality, I’m a bit of a rube when it comes to policy, but I try to use common sense. I think I might have one on “Barack Christ” there, because I am acutely aware at the very least (unlike him) that universal health care is a bad idea. I’m disabled, too, so I should be able to tap into a whole other “oppressed” demographic that he can’t even touch.
Oh, I’m better looking than him, too. Honestly, what’s with all this “he’s so good looking” garbage? He looks like he belongs on the cover of Mad Magazine.
So, it would seem that the only thing holding me back is my obvious lack of blackness. Based on our obvious current criterion for presidential candidacy, being black and disabled would certainly make me a shoe in. Unless of course, our Holy Obama announced he was a closet homosexual, then he’s have me beat. I’m not willing to go that far. I’m not going to “go black” in that sense, if you get my meaning.
I can see it now. A black man in the *White House*. That would really stick it to the “man” wouldn’t it?
Praise Our Lord, Barack Hussein Jesus H. Tapdancing Obama.
…I’m off to find a tanning bed.
Popularity: 35% [?]
April 3rd, 2007 at 14:14
I agree that his lack of experience is an issue and where he may have potential he is nowhere near ready for a white house job, I don’t think his race alone is the issue,it is a factor and i’m better looking than both of you by the way,but not the whole. One thing thats sad is that as a black candidate for president he is by far the least absurd choice we’ve ever had, run down the earlier choices and he looks pretty good by comparison which is what Biden probably meant to say but he was hampered by the need to use the obligatory “articulate” description.
Most of the issue is image. Obama was marketed well early on, and it helps that he’s good in front of the cameras. If Edwards weren’t such a lawyer he would benefit from some of this also. We’re at a point where style and image win over substance. Arnold won in California because of this, noone had anyway of knowing what type of a job he could do and all we really knew about him is from the image he created as a movie star. Was Charlton Heston president of the NRA because he was the most qualified? If Mitt Romney looked like Arlen Spector how much tougher a sell would he be? There is also a desperate need to find an alternative to Hillary which fuels the enthusiasm for Obama. Nobody thinks he’s more qualified, they just like him better. By the way the disabled thing would work against you what you should do is throw your support behind my campaign.