ArtLindsey.com

Uh-oh…Look who’s back. It’s me, and I’m plenty irritated. Here we are, over three years into the Iraq conflict, and I still hear the same old crap. “Do you think we should be in Iraq?” and/or the 9/11 conspiracy nut jobs. Today, let’s tackle the conspiracy nut jobs.

As a preface, those of you who know me are very aware that I spend a lot of time on the Internet. Probably too much time, but that is a discussion for another day.

At this moment, I am part of a Google discussion group. A Google group is much like any other discussion board, but with 2 neat little twists:

1. You have to be invited.

2. Instead of logging in to a site to view the ongoing discussion, each successive reply is e-mailed directly to you. This is incredibly convenient, but it can also eat up your daylight if you get too involved.

The group I’m in consists primarily of political discussion. Conservatives, (like me) square off against liberal whack job sad-sacks every day, and it gets to be pretty passionate. As always, I don’t take any crap from anybody, and I go out of my way to make sure everybody knows that.

Recently, a discussion was begun by a liberal member of the group in regard to the 9/11 terrorist attacks. His contention was that the towers were not brought down by the impacts of the airplanes, but by placed thermite charges, and that the superstructures of the buildings would have had to *melt* for them to collapse as they did. Anyone with moderately functioning grey matter knows that these theories are complete garbage, and as I said earlier, I have grown tired of these pointless discussions. As a matter of principle, I took this person (who shall remain nameless) to task. Enjoy.

(The following text has been edited for “stand alone” readability.)

Part one: “Physics for the Mentally Disabled. (AKA ‘Retards’ in some circles)”

As for all this structural mumbo jumbo that’s being batted about, I will be the first to admit that I am not an architect, engineer, or physicist. However, my vocabulary is large enough to get the gist of things. Let me see if I can break it down for the liberal “outcome based” education types. (Translation: I’ll use smaller words.)

Fire, which is hot, and burns when you touch it, (ouch, ouch) is an issue here. But it is not the final determining factor. Lest I remind the revisionist historians out there (Oh sorry…”people who make stuff up or remember events differently to support their worldview”) we are talking about the SECOND WTC bombing here. Does anybody remember the first one? Some terrorists (The BAD GUYS…usually Arab and fond of goats (not nearly as cool as MY Arab friends who make awesome chili and beer) placed a BOMB in a basement area and made it go boom. (A “bomb” in its modern incarnation is a bundle of really big firework type stuff with a clock on it…usually a digital clock…the kind with the glowy number lights. Or they just use a remote control…kinda like the gadget for your TV, except the range is helluva far. And the fireworks themselves look like Silly Putty. Neat! You could make a really “deadly” ash-tray with the leftovers!)

Anyway, when the clock hits zero or Mohammed al-Durkadurka from Jihadistan presses his clicker doohickey, the “bomb” flies into a jillion hot little pieces, and goes “BOOM!, really loudly. And I mean REALLY loud. Like 15 simultaneous Ted Nugent concerts. This, along with the flying crap, induces what we learned types call a ‘shockwave’ or a ‘concussion’. Now, essentially what this is in this context, a momentary (Fast and short-lived) violent movement of air and sound. This, in all its wondrous glory, can cause stuff to shake and fall down. Sometimes, it’s even strong enough to squish things, like people.

Oh, and since there were “fireworks” used, that means it’s really friggin’ hot. And remember, fire burns when you touch it. (Ouch, ouch.) So consider having it THROWN on you. That’s gotta hurt. In turn, surrounding combustibles (stuff that can burn) ignites (catches fire…ouch, ouch.)

Hilarity does NOT ensue. (Well, unless you have hot dogs, beer, and one hell of an insurance policy.)

Now, this being said, why didn’t this aforementioned bomb make the building come down? I’m glad you asked! It wasn’t big enough, and it was poorly placed. In short, not enough “boom”, and…concrete not burn!

The second time however, was a lot different. A multi-ton (2000 lbs x a bunch) aircraft (A tin can that flies really fast that you can buy a ticket and they’ll let you ride in.) Airplanes are neat! People use them to go a whole long ways in a reasonable amount of time. These wondrous flying cans are filled with this smelly substance that makes it go, called “fuel”. This fuel stuff will go boom when it gets warm. When the booms are tiny and controlled, these cans will go up and down and left and right. When the fuel used improperly, it makes one of those shock wave fireball things called an “explosion”, and it’s nasty.

I realize that some people need visual aids. I’m down with that. Some of you may be saying “But, Art…computer modeling is expensive and he outcome can be manipulated.”

I hear you, my children.

There is a visual aid we can all use, and it’s totally within our budget.

It’s called JENGA, and it’s available at a fine retailer near you. (Incidentally, with enough friends and adult beverages, Jenga is actually fun.)

Here’s the deal:

Build your Jenga tower, and try to take a block out of the very bottom. Pretty damn hard to do, in respect to the rest of the tower, isn’t it? The reason why is because that the lower to the ground you are, the lower the center of gravity is of the object in question. Simply, it’s really heavy and sturdy. The structure is very solid and strong. It literally holds up because of its own weight. This is why you don’t see people slamming *cars* into buildings, attempting to bring them down.

In ebonics, quite simply, “That ain’t work.”

Now, as we move up the structure, the weight on each of the successive adjoining (each connecting thereafter) floors bottom to top is less and less. Since each floor has less weight to support than the one below it, you can move it easier. (Damn that center of gravity.) In fact, they make buildings so high now, that the wind will make them wobble several feet in any direction. Weebles wobble but they don’t fall down! Oh, the humanity!

As experimental proof, play around and notice how much easier it is to move the blocks toward the top than it is the bottom. Why? Can I have a show of hands? Yes! Because each successive level doesn’t have as much weight holding it in place! Very good!

For those of you who are having a hard time grasping this, feel free to take notes This is some really complex science here. Do your best to keep up.

So, here comes our big tin can chock full of go-go/boom-boom juice like a bat out of Jihadistan. Remember, its really heavy and really flippin’ fast. This produces an incredible (“holy crap”) amount of force, and just knocks stuff silly. I mean, like Mike Tyson punching out a chick silly. It rips some of the support out, and stuff gets really wobbly from the top down. Which we can demonstrate by taking some blocks out of the middle parts of our Jenga tower. As you can see, this is petty dangerous….even more dangerous than a Democrat in charge of New Orleans.

Hang on to your protractors, it gets worse. The fast moving can full of fuel causes friction. “Friction” is a phenomenon caused by a combination of pressure and movement. The end product of friction is heat, and when we have heat coming in contact with the go-go/boom-boom juice from that busted flying can, we get a big sumbitchin’ holy crap explosion. Again, this perpetually shakes things apart, and things catch fire. (Burn burn, ouch, ouch.).

To simulate these phenomena on our Jenga tower, simply continue to remove blocks from the center and place them on the wobbly top of the tower. The additional top weight is a good substitute for the stress on the WTC “I” beams by the increased heat.

“Stress”, in this context, can be best described an undue force on a particular object. “Undue” means “Not supposed to happen.”

You see, when things get hot they expand, and when they get cold they contract. In this case, we are talking about heat. Rapid temperature fluctuation causes the molecules of an object to go holy crap crazy, weakening the integrity (how strong it is) of the object they are part of.

So in the instance of the WTC, the rapid temperature fluctuation caused the beams to soften, which increased the possibility of buckling (collapse).

You too can test this molecular theory in your own home. Get a melmac plate. (It’s a plastic like material…You can get them at camping stores). Next put the plate in the microwave for a couple minutes. (The thing you warm up your hot pockets in, genius. It has a digital clock on it like a bomb, but doesn’t get warm enough to go boom in its stock form. Ahhh, the wonders of technology.) Then, take the plate out of the shiny heating box (be careful, ouch, ouch), and run it under cool water in the sink. Here comes the best part. Now, while you’re doing this, rub it with a towel like you’re actually doing dishes!

Holy sumbitchin’ crap! What happened? The plate broke. It didn’t melt, it just broke. Damn you Fahrenheit! Damn you! You are a cruel mistress, indeed!

Moving on, let’s keep in mind that the immense (very large amount of) weight of the upper floors is being pulled upon by gravity, (The force that makes stuff hit the ground when you drop it) because it’s no longer properly supported. And just like death and taxes, over time, gravity always wins.

Translation: Crap’s gonna break. Head for the hills, kids!

I’m sure when the engineers designed the WTC, they didn’t use wax as a building material. It’s a BUILDING, not a freaking candle. Can you imagine that mess on a New York summer day? Anyway, stuff doesn’t have to melt to be leveled. Bending and breaking works nicely. Could melting have been an issue in the realm of possibility? Sure. Is it likely? No. Your continued fixation on melting is laughable, and we would appreciate it if you keep your fetishes to yourself.

So, in summation to this point, we have massive structural failure (The building is broken), we have immense (a lot of) heat causing a molecular happy dance in the building’s skeleton, and we have gravity bearing with the heft of scores of floors of concrete, office equipment and fat (God bless them) cubicle workers behind it. At this point, gravity has more intent than Bill Clinton interviewing attractive staffers. It’s gonna happen, dudes. It’s just a question of when.

And so it does. Crap.

The stressed supports give way, and all the stuff above the supports starts to head Earthward. (You bastard, gravity!) Remember, this is tons of crap, (2000 lbs. x a bunch) and it’s coming down. Thing is, for a set period of time, stuff that falls picks up speed. Kinda like a train. Get out of the way, it’s coming through, and it’s not gonna stop until someone or some THING stops it. This is energy in motion as result of a “trigger”. (Which was the molecular happy dance aided by that damned gravity.) Grown ups call this phenomenon “kinesis”.

So, our buddy kinesis is in full effect:

“HELLO NEW YORK! ARE YOU READY TO ROCK!!? I *SAID*…ARE YOU READY??”

Kinesis had been waiting around for a while, you see, so he was REALLY pissed off (because he hates waiting when he’s enticed), and he had and army of weight behind him, which was moving faster and faster. In fact, it was so fast and the army was so massive that it completely flattened the unsuspecting floors below it. This continued until every floor was smashed in increasingly rapid succession until hard rockin’ Kinesis, triggered by opening acts Molecular Happy Dance and Gravity met up with the ground. (The “ground” is the thing that stops Kinesis.)

Oh, to live fast and die young….

So, in a matter of speaking, rock beats kinesis. Remember that. Also remember that “kinesis” is a Greek word. They make gyros in Greece. Gyros are delicious.

Oops. I got distracted there. Sorry about that.

What was the end result of all this? Death. Destruction. Mayhem. No demolitions team required.

This concludes “Physics for the Mentally Disabled”

Part two: What this really is.

Here’s the thing about liberals such as our young conspiracy fanatic here. A great many of them don’t live in reality. They live in a construct within their own minds of the way they think things should be. Liberalism is a very shallow fantasy world driven completely by emotion, which is fueled by displeasure with past events, and lacking any hint of logic. And for many years now, the prevailing emotions have been hate, anger, and rage. Those who practice this black art are more concerned with what *did* happen then than what *will* happen now. It’s a hopeless existence, and I do not recommend it. You very well could end up a mime in extreme cases. Avoid liberalism at all costs.

In case you’re asking yourself, “How are liberals and mimes similar?” The answer to this question is simple. Most liberals, like mimes, always look sad and have nothing interesting to say.

The modern practitioners of this cult like to keep hitting us with their whack job theories about the past because they honestly think that if they can somehow be proven right, that all the events of the past five years or so will be undone, like it never happened. This, when you strip all their fabled “nuances” away, is nothing more than insanity.

Modern liberals think that there is an inside force at work, and that there is inevitable, impending doom. They honestly feel. (Notice I said “feel” and not “think”) that evil George W. is out to destroy America.

What I ask them (and none of them can ever answer) is, “To what end?” Maybe liberals think there are secret plans by the Bush White House to plunge us into despotism? If that is indeed the radical Left’s rationale, it would beg a second question:

What is the purpose of destroying the most prosperous country on the planet?

This country was and is built on a system that has helped it to become the world’s (benevolent) bank, the world’s (benevolent) pantry, and the world’s (benevolent) protector. America’s strength comes from its people. A people empowered by its system. That is why America, a country young by world standards, is so far ahead of every one else on this big blue marble. It serves no purpose for our own government to “break” America. The government is of the PEOPLE for the PEOPLE and by the PEOPLE. If those running the system break it, it hurts them too, and believe you me, they know it. We are a good people, and we help others because we CAN. More importantly, when you CAN, you SHOULD.

We truly are the “Shining City on a Hill” that Ronald Reagan proclaimed us to be. You probably wouldn’t know that though, young man, because part of you was most likely a stain on a sheet when he was president.

You see, buddy, we’re not really angry at you. Truth be told, we are angry at ourselves. It’s really disappointing when you find out how stupid one of the people you “hang out” with is. It casts a shadow on us all. Despite your claims, you weren’t educating people. You merely displayed you’re ignorance to the world. You think that just because you “accidentally posted an ‘unfinished draft’”, that we didn’t pick up on the context? Please. More than that, who has to “draft” a Google Group post? Do you think I “drafted” this response? Do you think I had to “practice” my thinking? I don’t. Do you know why? It’s because I have a core. A core that is based in reality, complemented by an education, faith in humanity as well as God…and most importantly, common sense. I don’t grasp on to every little straw I find. You have, and you’ve made a complete fool of yourself in front of the world.

Admittedly, I am not as straightforward about calling you an idiot, but seeing as I just dismissed you by essentially writing a children’s pamphlet on the process of building collapse, the shoe may very well fit.

This is not something I take lightly. You aren’t friends with a man who lost his stepsister. You aren’t someone whose grandmother was in the White House and was told to run because the plane was coming. This grandmother replied “I can’t run! I’m 75 years old!” and cried at the mere mention of the day for months after. You aren’t someone who got a phone call at 3 A.M. from a friend who was sobbing uncontrollably because she could see body parts being loaded into trucks and hauled away.

In case you’re wondering who had to deal with all this, it was me.

…And *I* got off lightly. These things don’t make me unassailable or give me a crutch, but I’m not putting up with this lunacy, that’s for damned sure. Don’t you step into this crowd with your “facts” and expect not to lose an eye. Not on my watch.

You are in way over your head son, and deep down you know it, or you wouldn’t be trying to backpedal so hard. This is the big time, and you are just not ready. You are still a child. Maybe you’ll understand when you’re older, hopefully sooner than later.

I don’t hate you, nor do I dislike you. I feel sorry for you. How embarrassing.

Again, in case you missed it, allow me to reiterate in the simplest of terms:

Big plane come.
Big plane driven by people who hate us because we exist. (This includes you.)
Big plane hit building hard.
Building break.
Building burn.
Building fall.
INNOCENT PEOPLE DIE.

The sleeping giant known as the United States of America has awoken, and we will tolerate the hate no longer. It took many years of taunting to stir us, but from that day forth we decided that the powerless shall live in fear no more, and all shall be free.

….And that’s not a theory.

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